my circumcision and infibulation

this post is about the removal of my clitoris and labia and the permanent infibulation of my vulva, the culmination of a lifelong dream. i had, for a long time, dreamt of having a completely smooth crotch, with no genitalia whatsoever. at age 36, i made this dream a reality.

no doctor will perform such an operation in a medical setting, so i had to convince a friend of mine, a nurse, to do it for me. she agreed on the condition that i never mention her name, or location, or anything about her when i talk about it publicly. i am honoring that condition.

my request was to have the entire clitoris removed, as deeply as possible to eliminate any possible sensation. the clitoral hood and labia minora were also to be completely removed. the labia majora were to be destroyed and stitched together to complete the infibulation, leaving only a tiny hole for urine (after my hysterectomy, menstruation is no longer an issue) small enough that i could never be penetrated. lastly, all of these were to be done without anesthetic, as i wanted to be awake and alert throughout the culmination of my dream.

when the day came, my friend came to my house and tied me down to my bed. we placed plastic sheets under my ass to protect the bed from blood and other mess. after confirming that i was ready and willing to be cut, she started by cutting away my left inner labia. there was some bleeding but she quickly stopped it with a cauterizing pen. i felt a sharp pain and squeezed a racquetball i had in my hand. She then repeated the same on my right inner labia. this was a little less sharp as the endorphins had started to kick in. again, she cauterized the cut. she then moved to my clit hood, slicing it off in a few cuts and again cauterizing the wound. i then rested for just a minute while she prepared to remove my clitoris.

using a new, very sharp scalpel, she cut deep in a circle around my exposed clit. this hurt a lot and i screamed. the endorphins then kicked in again and it did not feel as sharp as she continued to cut deep into the clit. when the final cuts came to remove the clit, so much endorphins were flowing that i barely felt any pain. wasting no time, she then began to cut open my outer labia, rendering them raw and ready to be stitched together.

when she finally started stitching, i couldn't take the pain any longer, and i blacked out. when i woke up a few minutes later, she was about 3/4 of the way down, and within a few more minutes she had completely sealed my ex-vulva.

the entire area hurt for a few days afterward. in about a week, the infibulation was well healed and she removed the stitches (my body has always healed wounds quickly, so the infibulation healing went very well.) at that point the pain was gone. some swelling remained for a while, but eventually that too dissipated. the scars healed fully within a few months.

i am very satisfied with my circumcision and infibulation. it is exactly as i imagined it would be. my crotch is smooth with no signs of genitalia remaining. if you are not looking close-up, it's almost impossible even to see the scar. i am grateful for the work my nurse friend did in liberating me from my unwanted parts.